This one may take two cups

As God created beings, I think we expect that when we seek out happiness in life that it should be this all-fulfilling experience. I see that in people when they describe their weekend plans. They talk about the event of going to the clubs as something you would not want to miss in a lifetime. I am one who does not enjoy the nightlife very much, but I even find myself thinking about rearranging my schedule to check these happenings out.

We were designed with this yearning in our heart for a fulfillment that is not found on this earth, but word of mouth and pictures of “fun times” fool our hearts into thinking it can be found here on earth. Every weekend people try to find fulfillment in the most empty of ways- through temporary relationships, or temporary moments of bliss. I am convinced that if you partake in this life long enough, you will fool yourself into believing that you are living a fulfilled life (or you will hit rock bottom due to the consequences of the facade). I also see the danger in social networking sites like Facebook that make such lifestyles look so exciting, and the conversations exchanged make the documented good times even more invigorating. Facebook should have a pop up warning every time you log in:

WARNING! YOU WILL BE ON HERE LONGER THAN YOU PLANNED AND BY THE TIME YOU ARE DONE YOU WILL HAVE FEELINGS OF REJECTION AND THE NEED TO BE MORE. LEAVE NOW AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!

I like living in DC because I can watch everyone else try all the avenues and then I can see how it worked out. Then I took my turn. I purposefully chose this internship for two reasons. Obviously, I wanted the career experience to help prepare me for life after college. It was important to me to find out better what I needed to do to get the job I wanted. The second reason I chose this internship was because I knew I needed to live in a secular life style at least once. I had to know that my faith defines me not because it is the easy choice or because it is what I fell into, but because I chose it over everything else in this world.

I came here to see for myself what everyone was talking about and make sure I was truly choosing my God and not just following him out of convenience. The truth is, I’ve partaken in the festivities that captivate so many empty souls, and honestly, I’ve had some fun.

I’ve been distracted for the past two weeks. I found myself going from one fun event to the next trying to continue a true joy I already had. I wish I could honestly call the whole thing a controlled experiment, where I was merely observing and testing my hypotheses, but in all reality I got sucked in just a bit. I mistook the joy God gave me as happiness, and tried to keep it going by doing fun things. Now don’t get me wrong, I had fun staying out late dancing to salsa music, watching fun bands, seeing interesting documentaries with friends, and meeting lots of new interesting people at embassies and big events.

I learned that these things are fun, but they lead to tiredness and emptiness when they are over. It is a perfect analogy of my love of sweets. While you are enjoying the taste, you could not be happier, but after you finish your tasty treat you want more. If you choose more, then you are risking getting sick. If you don’t choose more, you are left longing for more until something else distracts you. My spirit became sick from poor nutrition AND my soul was still longing for more of the fun. It is a dangerous place to be.

Lessoned learn: God is the designer of the universe, and He knows what we need. If you listen to Him as He calls you to a complete abandonment to Himself, your heart will be as fulfilled as it can be here on earth. However, this is not a call to be a good Christian. I can tell you that I was a good Christian throughout this whole time, and I was still empty. I went to church, I tithed (even though it was hard), I had a daily quiet time, and I was reading scripture and praying with Teddy. These things are all wonderful, but they account only for a small amount of my time and heart. The problem came in that I sought out new things and people to bring me happiness. We can never seek creation to make us happy, we must seek the creator. All things were created to worship God, not to satisfy Hailey’s desire (or yours). The creator, who gave me such desire, did have a purpose when leaving that desire unfulfilled as He placed me on this earth. Fulfillment can only come with a constant seeking of our Father’s face. Only His words can comfort our heart, only His face can make us alive, and only His promises for our life are sufficient. In other words, pleasures on this earth can bring us temporary fulfillment, but only His will is best despite what we think (that was for you, Cindy).

I tried having my cake and eating it too. It doesn’t work. You cannot have God’s best and your best. Now obviously, as you follow him, your heart turns more and more into His, and your desires become more like His, but we cannot forget to trust him. My challenge to myself for these next few weeks is to seek His best. The ONLY source of true life comes from Jesus Christ.

“For if, by the trespass of one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:17

If Adam could mess the state of the entire earth up so bad as one person, think of what the power of the one man who came to save us can do in our lives. I think I want to share in His cake and forget mine.

Landmark learning experience- grab a cup of coffee, it’s long

It has been over a month now since I have started working in Congressman Payne’s office, and I can honestly say I have learned more than I ever thought I would. I’ve been reflecting on what skills I have gained so far as an intern (or as a fellow as the program likes to call it) on the Hill. Sometimes I get jealous of my roommates that do not get off of work until 8:00pm at night because at least that means they are needed for some kind of work. Other times I am thankful that my office is more laid back, which creates a minimal stress environment.

I have learned things I did not even realized I learned. The best way to explain my experience here is to compare it to a young child growing up under the supervision of loving parents. When a child is young they do not realize how much they have learned from their parents. They don’t know that the way they talk, the way they walk, what they perceive as normal, the core beliefs they have, or even what they believe to be truth or reality is a direct imitation of their parents.

I feel like the time I sit and reflect is like my rebellious teenage years, where I see that people in politics (or the parents of the children) do not know as much as I thought they did. Not that they are not brilliant and talented at what they do, but the clouded dome over my small reality is removed and a wider reality is revealed. It is when teenages learn that their parents are human and they make mistakes. It is even when they start to even see a few of the reflections of their parents in themselves. It has not been a rebellious reflection time, but a time where I realize that these leaders, diplomats, CEOs, dignitaries, advocates of change, human rights activists, distinguished experts that they were all at one point at my stage of life. I see a bit of them in me. I see that they do not hold all of the answers, and actually that a lot of them seek to raise up the next generation to find more answers.

I have been inspired that I am not just a bottom of the totem pole intern who will go back to school, graduate, and then find myself working at a Starbucks because I am with out any technical skills. It finally hit me that the before empty saying that “I am the next generation of________” and you fill in the blank is true; it is inevitable. All of these successful, powerful, inspiring, people I look up to out of admiration or mere authority will die. They do not last forever. Two of the most important concepts one has to possess and grow in his or her life are the tools of communication and discipleship. One will never have a legacy without having communicated that which made him or her great, and anything praiseworthy outlasts a lifetime. This means we better get good at training up people behind us. This is not an easy task. It takes patience, commitment to something beyond one’s own good, and it takes humility. The disciples have to be inspired that they can carry on that which has come before them, and the trainers have to have humility in leadership to recognize it is not about them.

Now, I am passed the teenage years and on to the time parents long for in their children’s lives, the times where we call and say “Ohhh, now I know why you told me that all those years.” I am there in the analogy and in reality. In the office I get so excited when I listen to a hearing or a briefing and remember the lectures my Winthrop professors gave me on the same issues. I love making the connections from the text books I read in class to the real live world. I should stop here to say that Winthrop University has really served me well and will continue to for another semester. I am learning the true meaning of diplomatic speech. I am learning that I am not the only one in the dark about things such as the congressional budget process. I realized that is why text books and professors are amazing (they give you the break down of these complicated issues). I am learning how to ask questions even when what I’ve just heard sounds like a flawless presentation. I am learning that in order to really process something you have to force yourself to look at the presentation in a way that drives you to question it. I’m learning that you are alway giving off an impression, and that impression can build up or destroy the people around you without you even knowing it. I’m learning that as much as a smile can bring great opportunity and a short tone can destroy a possible relationship.

I will end with one last story of inspiration that tells of my graduation to the adult world. I am so inspired by the people I meet everyday. I wonder how they got to where they are and what regrets they might have. One person I have not had the pleasure of meeting but have read some of his story is Muhammad Yunnus. He is the man who won the Nobel Peace Prize for his social business concept or micro-lending. He breaks down how the government cannot solve all of the social problems of a nation and neither can NGOs or even the private sector because of lack of resources and/or incomplete development structure (you need to crack his book Creating a World Without Poverty).

I am reading his business plans for the Grameen Bank, and I am so inspired how this man started such a successful combat against poverty. After reading a good bit of his breakdown of his plan I decide to look at the book sleeve to the short biography of his life. After two sentences I put the book down and a light went off in my head. “..He was educated at Dhaka University and was awarded a Fulbright scholarship to study economics at Vanderbilt University.”

This may not sound like much, but I have had the opportunity to meet and become good friends with many Lantos Fellows. Lantos Fellows are students from abroad that are working in Congress thanks to Tom Lantos’ Fellowship. He was (he died last week) the Chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee, who started this program. Of these Lantos Fellows, a few of them have also received Fulbright scholarships to study at such universities as Georgetown and Harvard. It just so happens that I sit around with these fellows and discuss the progress of the EU and the horrors of the World Bank in between watching episodes of the Office. These are my peers (oh so very smart ones). It hit me, that these people I hang out with are on the same path as Yunus who I so greatly admire. I am here in DC discussing the future of our world with future leaders of the world, and I do not say that lightly because I once shook off the phrase “future leaders.”

I realized that it is my responsibility that with every new opportunity I receive that I must continue to move forward. I cannot give up or settle with what I am comfortable with because I have an obligation to my generation to do the most that I can with the resources I have. I don’t think I have gained an inflated head. I also don’t think I am a special chosen person. I actually feel very inadequate for anything other then minding my own business, but if I know anything about God’s word I know that he did not call me to be in this world to look out for my own life. I cannot be afraid of failure. I think that is where trust in God comes into play. We serve a God who deserves all credit for his ability to do “immeasurably more than all we could ask or image according to his power that is at work with in us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen”

Hearing with Secretary Rice

Here is a hearing that I sat in on and watched. It is interesting to note that this clip that made it on youtube was the most heated moment in the entire hearing, but in all actuality the hearing was quite boring. Now, I love attending hearings and seeing the exchange between interlocutors. The hint of boredom can be seen in the eyes of the Members. You can tell the hearing is lacking luster when you watch members of Congress’ eyes starting to get heavy.

The irreverence of relevance

I’m reading a book right now (I will not mention the title or the author of the book because it does have some wonderful thoughts contained in it) by an author who loves to tag our relationship with God and the name of Jesus with the term “relevant.” I have put my feet in the author’s shoes just by reading his/her book to understand the message behind relevant Christianity, but I am offended by this relevant movement.

Now, I know there are many people in the U.S. and from around the world who need to be reached out to who have been told their whole lives that salvation is a combination of historic ritual and religion. I believe people need to be able to translate the Bible into heart issues that transcend time, but I don’t like terming that process of being touched by the living word of God as “relevant.”

Why do I hate the term relevant? Here are my two big reasons: firstly, I think relevancy encourages an egocentric world view, and secondly, have you noticed what else is relevant in our society? I’ll tell you as someone who has to read the news everyday and lives with 11 other young people in a big city: doing whatever you please for entertainment, sex before marriage, living without core values, people pleasing to get what you want, relativity. Of course the list is limitless, and if you look at the headlines of the news in the last week you can see that beauty, fame, money, popularity is no guard against depression or despair. Actually, it has been a pathway to a mental hospital for Britney Spears and death for Heath Ledger.

God is not something to add to our cool mix in life. He is not a poster to put on your wall next to your favorite actor or musician. He is to be held in the utmost highest esteem. When we come into His presence we are brought to our knees by his glory and we are spared by his grace. Honestly, that is not a relevant message. When I read People magazine or even Time, big egos and power is relevant. If you refer to “relevant” sources on how to be successful these days your answer will most likely include a 3, 5, or 10 step process of improving what you’ve got. God has no need to improve you, and as a Christian we should have no concern as to how good we are, or in Christian terms, how holy we are, but rather, we need to focus on loving justice and mercy and walking humbly with our God. (Refer to Romans 1, Micah 6:8, Romans 2:4)

When I hear the term relevant, there is a message communicated that tells me what ever it is, I can simply include it in MY plan. I can collage this relevant God in with all of my other passions and desires. When you invite God’s Spirit into your heart there is no room for your previous mosaic of life passions. They must be surrendered at the cross and left there so you can carry the cross and follow Him. I don’t endorse slandering or cutting off any person that uses this term, but I do think it is important to remember and to reflect on the nature of our God when hearing Him framed in a relevant way.

The only thing in this world that will sustain us is unseen. He is the whisper in our spirit. He is the peace that passes all understanding. He is the unending source of love that no other can compare to. He is more than enough, and that is why He is worth devoting our whole lives to… Amen.

Being a Washington Fellow: Job description

It has been two weeks now since I started on the Hill.  Two of the big issues being discussed are the stimulus package, which Congress has finalize their budget by Feb. 14^th and in this office, a peace resolution between Kibaki and Odinga in Kenya.  Everyday presents new issues and more constituency concerns. 

Actually, answering constituency phone calls and responding to their mail has been very informative.  It forces me to dive deeper into the issues to give the constituent an informed response.  The phone calls can range from ridicules complaints to sincere thank-yous for the Congressman’s work.  The one thing I have learned is that when voicing a complaint to a Congressperson, make sure you are contacting your district’s Congressperson if you want a response.  Your letter just may slip through the hands of the interns if you don’t. 

The best part of my job so far has been attending briefings, hearings, and receptions.    Briefings are events organized to inform members of congress and/or their staff on current issues or new reports. They are can be for just one representative or for a small group of representatives. Hearings are bigger and more formal events where a committee or subcommittee convenes to take testimony in order to gather information and opinions on proposed legislation.  Receptions differ greatly because there is food and drinks!  They can be very informative or just a celebration, but what makes them so great to attend, especially because I am a poor intern living in an expensive city, is that there is FREE FOOD!

The briefings I sit in on are based on international affairs. It is amazing to see the input NGOs have in our government, and some of those NGOs are Christian organizations. I have sat in on a briefing where representatives from Kenyan civil society share reports on the violence in their country as a result of the December elections. The two representatives were major players in implementing human rights actions in Kenya. They came to the Hill to urge Congress to put pressure on the State Department to put a pinch on President Kibaki, so he can feel the effects of the turmoil his taking of office has caused his country.

 Another amazing briefing I sat in on was one on overcoming violence against women in poor countries and how these positive changes relate to the reauthorization of the President’s Emergency Plan For Aids Relief (PEPFAR).  This briefing was packed out with mainly women and many of them were from all over the developing world and representing NGOs. This was an uplifting briefing because women from NGOs funded by PEPFAR gave positive testimonies of how their organizations have been successful in reducing violence against women.  They explained about how violence against women is a societal problem and reducing violence requires education in communities. Women need to know they are not alone in their pain, and there needs to be change in the gender norms.  Obviously changing norms is the most difficult task an organization could take on, but as Dr. Mary Elleberg, senior advisor for Program for Appropriate Technologies for Health, said “success usually starts with a handful of people taking action.” 

I think it is important with today’s sprawl of technology, which allows us to see so much of the hurting and broken world in such a quick moment, is not to get overwhelmed by the need or be to critical of those helping alleviating pain and suffering.  I know it sounds bizarre to be critical of positive efforts, but the reality of it is that every organization has its flaws. I learned this from being apart of so many churches as I’ve moved around the United States.  It is so easy to first notice what is missing or what is wrong with a church or a non-profit.  I actually find myself usually catching my negativity after I’ve left a place, only to wish I had not crowded out the good because it is too late to take note of the good.  I’m done trying to be superwoman and tackle all issues, but through prayer and experience I know I’ll find the avenue to take in helping people.  That is one thing I love about our government- decisions are influenced and issues are brought to the table by many sources including Christian organizations… that topic is for another blog.

Day one in a congressional office

The scene: 7am on a cold, breezy and rainy morning. Forecast for the rest of the day is snow mixed with rain. I live in a house with 11 other people, so when I woke up and saw the rain outside so did the other roomies and the complaints started rolling about the long walk. I have a half mile walk to the Rayburn in my little black flats. God is so good because he knows we have to walk through a lot of cold and wet days and that is why Philippians 2:14-16 is in the Bible.

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.”

This was the verse of the day on Biblegateway.com (the widget right under my weather widget- it was like instantly I saw the weather and then the word). Again I am reminded that God’s word has instruction for us in every situation. To be honest, the walk was wonderful. It may have been because I had first-day adrenaline or maybe it was more because I already had a special moment with my savior.

I was all smiles when I walked into Congressman Payne’s office. For those of you who don’t know who Congressman Payne is, he is the Representative of the 10th district in New Jersey. I got hooked up with his office because of my interests in the developing world, the issues in Africa, world health issues, and education. The most exciting link with Congressman Payne chairmanship of the Africa and Global Health Subcommittee. Here is more about the Congressman.

The day was characterized by a lot of asking simple questions, sorting through mail and faxes, and answering telephone calls. However, I did get to sit in my first briefing where a representative from Osolo of Extractive Industires Transparency Initiative (EITI) presented and update to the Foreign Affairs Committee. It was a small meeting, but a neat opportunity to watch the process of the EITI update our Congress, so that we might be better involved in helping other countries better monitor their natural resources eliminate exploitation of those resources.

My walk home was a bit exciting because one of my coworkers showed me through the underground tunnel from our office building to the other side of the Capitol where I live. I got home and all of the roomies shared about their first day, and as I recall I think I was the only only who characterized their experience with excitement and joy. I think I owe a thank you to God for blessing my day with His joy found when I focused eyes on His promises.

Subscribe to make life easier

Hey everyone, I changed the theme of my blog so that I could have a link at the bottom of the page so you all can subscribe to my blog. This way you can be updated when I add to my blog. I will put pictures up to brighten this dark page.

Seeing D.C. through God’s persepective

Bedroom window view

I am spending my second morning waking up in the city, and I just noticed this morning that I can see the Hart Senate building out my bedroom window. Wow! When people think of living in a big city usually they think of NYC, Chicago, Boston, or LA, but the more time I spend wandering D.C. the more I am reminded that this is a sprawling metropolitan area with all aspects of city life. I was walking on Capitol Hill during lunch time yesterday and there were lines of professionally dressed men and women outside every restaurant door. Maybe that was the case because it was 65 degrees out, but I made a mental note to myself to bring my lunch to work when I start next week.

I also spent some time looking for a gym and had to hop on the metro because of the outrageous prices of the gyms that are of walking distance for me. I ended up in an area called the D.C. golden triangle. It looked a lot like NYC with the multistory clothing stores and big advertisements to catch your attention.

It actually gets a bit intimidating living in a city brushing shoulders with people of fame, power, prestige, and money. You quickly begin to evaluate you life and ask yourself the question should I be doing something different. Thats how I felt while I was out and about yesterday, but when I came home to my Bible I was refreshed by God’s word.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing” John 15: 5

This verse reminded me that apart from God, no matter what we do, we are nothing. Even if the people that have the good things in life got them through helping other people (although I have a feeling that is not the case) it means nothing in the end. The worth of a person is not seen in what he or she has but in the love of God. Rather then strive for humanly achievements we need to strive for the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Understanding the true source of worth puts us in a place to worship our Father for his love, and gives us a confidence that we can live a meaningful life no matter what circumstances abound.

How do we know that we are remaining in Him? Jesus answers this question in his next question to the disciples?

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples” John 15:7-8

The power of life is found in God’s word. This is my biggest conviction starting this new year, that I have to be in a place where I am regularly hearing, reading, and digesting the word of God so that I can remain in him. I don’t think this verse gives us the power to ask for selfish things we lust after, but rather, Jesus is challenging us to remain in Him and see how his heart transforms our heart to begin desiring the things he desires. If remaining in Him means knowing the word of God, then when we ask for what we wish we find ourselves praying the heart of God.

My prayer for my life while I’m in D.C. is that no matter where I am working, that I find my worth in God and that I remain in His word so that I can pray His heart for the people in this city.

First step: get absentee ballot

It is easy to say your passionate about an issue and even claim to be active in pursuing it, but then you get so busy with other things in life that you fall victim to a life of convenience. I avoided my own hypocracy and sent off for my absentee ballot today because being in DC I will miss the primaries. Looking at the voter turnout rates that hover around 50% on presidential election years I assume there are some other people just like me tempted to let one phone call to the local registration office keep them from voting. My excuse would be legitimate that I ran out of time to mail in for an absentee ballot, but my conscious was haunting by the thought of being in DC where the license plates say “taxation without representation.” We have to remember what a privilege it is to vote and remember what a responsibility it is to vote smartly. In South Carolina we still have a few more days until January 19th to get smart and get to the polls.