This one may take two cups

As God created beings, I think we expect that when we seek out happiness in life that it should be this all-fulfilling experience. I see that in people when they describe their weekend plans. They talk about the event of going to the clubs as something you would not want to miss in a lifetime. I am one who does not enjoy the nightlife very much, but I even find myself thinking about rearranging my schedule to check these happenings out.

We were designed with this yearning in our heart for a fulfillment that is not found on this earth, but word of mouth and pictures of “fun times” fool our hearts into thinking it can be found here on earth. Every weekend people try to find fulfillment in the most empty of ways- through temporary relationships, or temporary moments of bliss. I am convinced that if you partake in this life long enough, you will fool yourself into believing that you are living a fulfilled life (or you will hit rock bottom due to the consequences of the facade). I also see the danger in social networking sites like Facebook that make such lifestyles look so exciting, and the conversations exchanged make the documented good times even more invigorating. Facebook should have a pop up warning every time you log in:

WARNING! YOU WILL BE ON HERE LONGER THAN YOU PLANNED AND BY THE TIME YOU ARE DONE YOU WILL HAVE FEELINGS OF REJECTION AND THE NEED TO BE MORE. LEAVE NOW AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!

I like living in DC because I can watch everyone else try all the avenues and then I can see how it worked out. Then I took my turn. I purposefully chose this internship for two reasons. Obviously, I wanted the career experience to help prepare me for life after college. It was important to me to find out better what I needed to do to get the job I wanted. The second reason I chose this internship was because I knew I needed to live in a secular life style at least once. I had to know that my faith defines me not because it is the easy choice or because it is what I fell into, but because I chose it over everything else in this world.

I came here to see for myself what everyone was talking about and make sure I was truly choosing my God and not just following him out of convenience. The truth is, I’ve partaken in the festivities that captivate so many empty souls, and honestly, I’ve had some fun.

I’ve been distracted for the past two weeks. I found myself going from one fun event to the next trying to continue a true joy I already had. I wish I could honestly call the whole thing a controlled experiment, where I was merely observing and testing my hypotheses, but in all reality I got sucked in just a bit. I mistook the joy God gave me as happiness, and tried to keep it going by doing fun things. Now don’t get me wrong, I had fun staying out late dancing to salsa music, watching fun bands, seeing interesting documentaries with friends, and meeting lots of new interesting people at embassies and big events.

I learned that these things are fun, but they lead to tiredness and emptiness when they are over. It is a perfect analogy of my love of sweets. While you are enjoying the taste, you could not be happier, but after you finish your tasty treat you want more. If you choose more, then you are risking getting sick. If you don’t choose more, you are left longing for more until something else distracts you. My spirit became sick from poor nutrition AND my soul was still longing for more of the fun. It is a dangerous place to be.

Lessoned learn: God is the designer of the universe, and He knows what we need. If you listen to Him as He calls you to a complete abandonment to Himself, your heart will be as fulfilled as it can be here on earth. However, this is not a call to be a good Christian. I can tell you that I was a good Christian throughout this whole time, and I was still empty. I went to church, I tithed (even though it was hard), I had a daily quiet time, and I was reading scripture and praying with Teddy. These things are all wonderful, but they account only for a small amount of my time and heart. The problem came in that I sought out new things and people to bring me happiness. We can never seek creation to make us happy, we must seek the creator. All things were created to worship God, not to satisfy Hailey’s desire (or yours). The creator, who gave me such desire, did have a purpose when leaving that desire unfulfilled as He placed me on this earth. Fulfillment can only come with a constant seeking of our Father’s face. Only His words can comfort our heart, only His face can make us alive, and only His promises for our life are sufficient. In other words, pleasures on this earth can bring us temporary fulfillment, but only His will is best despite what we think (that was for you, Cindy).

I tried having my cake and eating it too. It doesn’t work. You cannot have God’s best and your best. Now obviously, as you follow him, your heart turns more and more into His, and your desires become more like His, but we cannot forget to trust him. My challenge to myself for these next few weeks is to seek His best. The ONLY source of true life comes from Jesus Christ.

“For if, by the trespass of one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:17

If Adam could mess the state of the entire earth up so bad as one person, think of what the power of the one man who came to save us can do in our lives. I think I want to share in His cake and forget mine.